the red portfolio

2011-10-04T21:45:00.001-05:00

My sister may have forgotten to pick my nephew up from school yesterday. He may have told her he'd remember it forever and ever. And I may have felt really bad but laughed really hard about the situation all at the same time.

born again christian...

2011-09-29T18:52:00.000-05:00

I'm so in love with my new knock-off Christian Louboutin shoes...I couldn't even take them off when I made dinner tonight.

Thanks Danelle for a new store/shopping addiction!

2011-09-06T07:44:00.000-05:00

I feel this way everyday...especially when lycra is involved.

2011-09-04T16:29:00.000-05:00

Omaha Greek Festival - 08.21.11

2011-09-03T16:04:00.001-05:00

Iowa State Fair - 08.14.2011

2011-07-30T06:27:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I want to buy a book just because the cover is aesthetically pleasing to mah eye. This would be one of those times.

2011-07-29T06:19:00.005-05:00

First time trying dim sum. Different, wonderful, delicious.

2011-07-28T07:40:00.011-05:00

Vicariously living through some rambunctious kids.

2011-07-27T07:39:00.000-05:00

It was time to investigate what has been making all kinds of noise at 7am. Due to the rocky terrain, I considered it my workout for the day.

Investigation: closed.

2011-07-26T20:43:00.001-05:00

Pizza on a Tuesday because pizza on a Sunday just wasn't enough.

2011-06-30T21:58:00.000-05:00

The above photos are all of the bulldogs pics I have saved on my Blackberry. I look at them when I get sad, happy, bored or gassy.

A big thank you to the people who send me updates on their sweet puppies on an almost daily basis.

And to Sluggo, Chucky, Arlo and Bruno...you are all little angels sent straight from Heaven...squishy bears who melt my cold heart.

2011-06-27T21:04:00.002-05:00

Because it's not real unless it's on The Internet.

I wore a swimsuit, in public, at a pool, with people...and didn't die. I only lasted about five minutes but I did it.

And it really wasn't all that bad.

2011-06-23T21:13:00.000-05:00

An insanely old photo of Jimmy and I. I think this picture was taken six or seven years ago. Not sure...I'm too busy patting myself on the back for aging so well.

2011-06-22T07:56:00.003-05:00

Ethiopian food from Lalibela...I'll refrain from using the shudder inducing NOM NOM NOM. But if ever there was a time it would be now.

I could eat large platters of that salad on the bottom left. It's like way better than Olive Garden.

2011-06-21T08:12:00.001-05:00

Well shit...if this doesn't make you teary eyed then you just might be an asshole.

2011-06-20T18:19:00.028-05:00

I rescued this Kate Spade purse from the floor of my sister's garage. So I celebrated my great find by taking a bunch of grainy photos in a park with a belly full of barbeque.

Word.

2011-06-19T07:58:00.026-05:00

Pictured above is Andrej Pejic...a model. A male model. I think he is just the most interesting kind of beautiful. He also seems to have a whit about him. Andrej recently said, "It's [fashion] a very liberal industry. You can be yourself. Just not overweight."

2011-06-18T19:45:00.000-05:00

It's a good day when a gal like me runs into a friend like Lara.

I get so excited when see those pretty girls from Des Moines.

2011-06-17T19:34:00.002-05:00

I miss my friend Cindy. She left me a few months ago to attend grad school in Houston.

Why does everyone leave me?

Cindy is one of the most inspiring, beautiful people I've ever met. She always tells me, "You live in America...you can do anything."

Ain't that the truth.

2011-06-16T22:37:00.000-05:00

Happy 7th Birthday Avery Grace!

2011-06-03T10:28:00.001-05:00

I love this breakdown of classic Pippa Middleton style from The Budget Babe. She's the deal.

2011-06-02T08:16:00.001-05:00

A few months ago Jimmy and I drove up to Des Moines to visit our friends Lara and Kristen. We golfed, we hugged, we ate at Smokey Row Coffee House and drank at The High Life Lounge.

I love those two girls. Who knew you could meet normal people on Twitter?

2011-06-01T09:01:00.002-05:00

This is my homegirl, Christina. We met at work a few years ago when I noticed she was dressed really cute. It was all a very mature and non-shallow way to start a friendship.

A few months ago Christina left Nebraska to teach English in Madrid. Check her travel blog here.

Even though I miss her terribly and am counting down the days until she comes home, I am beyond proud of her for taking such a risk.

Get it girl...get it, get it girl. See you soon!

2011-05-31T10:58:00.001-05:00

When did Rachel Bilson start dressing so cute? I need those clogs.

2011-05-30T07:48:00.002-05:00

I used to love eating out. The whole process of choosing a restuarant, someone waiting on me, scanning the menu, the free re-fills of soda, no clean-up. And just like that...it became more of a chore and eating in suddenly became way more exciting.

So cheers to change and everything in moderation...even mini-hamburgers.*

*grilled buns are key!

2011-05-29T10:15:00.003-05:00

I spent my 30th birthday in New Orleans. It was my first trip to the city and lived up to every expectation I had in my mind.

Cafe Du Monde, St. Louis Cathedral, Bourbon Street, cemetaries, THE FOOD and every nice person who let me peak inside their home.

I'd move there in a heartbeat. I love the South.

2011-05-28T06:09:00.000-05:00

I love this cute little shih tzu that pops up every once in a while in photos on Banana Republic's website.

I wonder what his name is...

2011-05-27T22:55:00.003-05:00

People are weird...so weird.

I find myself often not sharing how I really feel just so I avoid making the person across from me feel bad. Is that weird?

Like today when I really wanted to say, "You're a total asshole if you believe that I believe you believe a word that is coming out of your mouth." It felt like a scene from The Real Housewives of New York where I was surrounded by the multiple personalities of Kelly Killoren Bensimon and searching for my BFF Bethenny Frankel.

I need my own spin-off...and fast.

2011-05-25T20:26:00.001-05:00

I'm obsessed with HGTV's Secrets From a Stylist. Actually I'm more obsessed with host Emily Henderson's clothes.

Check out her realistic and charming style blog here.

Adorable.

Or as we say on the interwebs: ZOMG! Adorbs! What does that even mean? It's like Girl's Night or Date Night or referring to your spouse as "Hubsy."

WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I ASK?

2011-04-05T09:02:00.086-05:00

Last week Wendy Townley and I went out for coffee. Starbucks to be exact. I had a tall skim mocha with whip. It's like hot chocolate for adults.

Nowadays I like to clarify/boast that I was friends with Wendy pre-book, pre-radio show(s), pre-her fiance Matt.* I was friends with Wendy Townley when she was a short-haired, sorority girl. Yeah bitches...we go way back. I don't know why this matters but for some reason, on some days, on some blog posts...it matters.

Homegirl has always done her thing and done it well.

Regardless we started discussing her upcoming wedding nuptials. And of course the dress. THE DRESS! The only dress that will ever matter in the history of days that one can not wear pants. And because I can't stay out of other people's business I asked if I could give her my opinion. Actually I didn't ask I just started dishing the dish.

I plan on dedicating a whole post to my uneducated opinion regarding Wendy's walk-down-the-aisle. But not just yet. Not until I post the most beautiful wedding dress I've eva seen in my pants wearing life...BAM BAM BAM!

Every bride needs some pockets in her dress to hide a dirty little secret or two. Seriously isn't that what the veil is for?

*He's absolutely lovely and flipping funny by the way.

2011-04-05T00:13:00.000-05:00

Did I mention Jessie from The Concrete Catwalk commented on my blog? Because she did.

And I may have squealed...and peed a little.

2011-04-04T08:50:00.002-05:00

Are you laughing? OUT LOUD?

I think I want to be friends with artist Gemma Carroll. Her website is the deal.

I think I also want to hang out in her studio.

And hug her puppy named Mr. Norman Pickles the Pug. For this I'm sure.

The end.

2011-04-03T07:26:00.000-05:00

Oh golly...what a beauty! Currently and completely obsessed with Emerson of EmersonMade. Homegirl gets it. She totally gets it.

Or in Emerson's own words from her company's Q&A page:

Q. What is EmersonMade!

A. EmersonMade is a company that believes in celebrating the uniqueness of the individual, the joy of being alive and all the smallness that makes up the Big Beautiful.

Well said.

2011-04-02T13:47:00.004-05:00

The best thing about The Internet is when I'm feeling a little uninspired or bored it's right there for a pick me up.

One of my favorite sites is The Tory Blog. Check, check, it out. Tory Burch has impeccable taste in music, style and design.

Like duh.

2011-04-01T13:59:00.002-05:00

A few photos with some sexy ladies and gents from the Red Cross Club Red premeire party. I'm just thankful these folks were kind enough to pretend they knew me and ask me to be a part of their photos.

Thanks again strangers!

2011-03-23T18:54:00.002-05:00

From Shameless to Bethenny Ever After and good standbys like Intervention...my life has been busy with a full-on TV binge. I don't feel guilty about all this tube time because some of it has been watched while working on my fitness.

And then tonight...I bought this dress from Gap. Looks like a tutu and that makes me a happy mature adult.

Seriously though I'm just trying to get back in the habit of posting.

2011-03-21T20:27:00.014-05:00

Nicki Grant...I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. I'm going to miss your prairie dresses. Your self-centered disposition. Your compound ways. Always the second wife. My favorite.

2011-03-16T20:08:00.003-05:00

Who's freakin' pumped about life? This guy. Who's over the "this guy" phrase? This guy.

And where did this zest for life come from? Many places including Jones Bros. Cupcakes but mostly from an amazing online class for BIG dreamers called Mondo Beyondo. If you're into staleness or complacency this program is not for you. If your into awesome maybe think about signing up.

Seriously.

2010-12-28T21:42:00.010-06:00

The other day when I was babysitting my niece turned to me and said in her angelic 6 year-old voice, "Umm...why are you here?"

::MY RESPONSE::

[in my head]

Because I'm fucking awesome and because it's illegal for you and your brother to be left unsupervised while you beat the crap out of each other and in 10 years you're probably going to get yourself in some trouble and Aunt Molly a.k.a fucking awesome will get you out of it and not tell your parents. Now who wants to play Barbies?

2010-11-27T01:06:00.000-06:00

My Christmas decorations are up. Actually these two guys are displayed in my China cabinet all year long but were originally hung on the Christmas tree when I was growing up.

I love them. My sister told me they belong to her but I think I appreciate them more.

Hi Bert. Hi Ernie.

2010-11-21T23:03:00.007-06:00

I've had such an easy life in some regards and I've noticed as I've grown older (and somewhat wiser) the company I keep can either make my life harder...or easier.

In a good and a bad way.

I tend to surround myself at times with people who let me off the hook, who don't hold me accountable or push me or challenge me to do better. This is no one's fault but my own (duh) and I've slowly come to understand this behavior is a defense mechanism of my own huge (HUGE) fear of failure...and blatant ~~insecurity~~ insecurities.

A girl, who has quickly become someone who I just j'adore (that's French for adore...I don't know French but I try and pretend sometimes), recently told me something that made my heart sink down to my size 9 big ass feet.

"It's not that I didn't think you were nice when I first met you, but you just didn't give off the warm fuzzies..."

Face: flushed.
Tear ducts: about to burst.

I won't like you before you won't like me. I win. I get it. She's right...and I totally own it with huge dose of embarrassment. Now I'd like to sell it.

If only it were that easy. Because if there's an easy way...I'm sure to find it and make a bee line straight for it. This path only leads straight to stagnate waters on the banks of Blahville. Also known as the home of bigger sized pants. Don't quote me on that though. Population: ONE LESS.

Yes, I realize this post has suddenly turned into an HPV commercial but really, I want to be one less [asshole in the world]. And can I just add those HPV shots hurt like a mother fucker?

Did you just stick a blunt knitting needle in my arm? Oh, a rusty blunt knitting needle! You don't say? And do you have something you could give me to provide warm fuzzies to the masses, a tissue to dry some undeserved tears and an ice pack for a bruised ego?

Thank you. I mean...merci.

2010-11-15T23:16:00.001-06:00

I eat out...a lot. For the following various reasons...

1. The last thing I want to do on a night off is go grocery shopping

2. The last thing I want to do on a night off is carry grocery bags up a flight of stairs

3. I love restaurant food

4. It's a lot of work...see 1 and 2

5. Insert fifth lame excuse

I just noticed the ugliness of that brown tray. Reason number one of why I will be eating out less...so here starts the commitment. I'm not going to bore myself with another list, I'm just holding myself a smidgen more accountable for what goes down the ol' shoot.

Because seriously...it's getting out of control.

2010-11-14T19:53:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite things about The One Room Mansion is the closet.

It's big. Not not legit mansion big...but big enough. Like I can walk in and do a twirl...not that I have time for that.

I'm a collector but not a pack rack and that's why I love these magnetic boards. Picture, notes and postcards displayed haphazardly but in a confined, neat space.

The last thing I hung up was a note from my homegirl, Jenny, who lives in Portland. I read it a lot...and smile.

"May your career path be filled with fulfillment, joy, and plenty of greenbacks."

Cheers to you too.

2010-11-11T22:57:00.002-06:00

I recently had the following philosophical conversation with my almost 4 year-old nephew, Talen Guy.

I should prefaces this post by explaining we were watching SpongeBob SquarePants and he was wearing Toy Story pajamas. I wanted him to wear his Paul Frank pajamas but he wasn't having it.

Aunt Molly: Do you pray before you go to bed?

Talen: Yes.

Aunt Molly: Really? Who do you pray for?

Talen: You.

Aunt Molly: Aww...thanks Tally, that makes my heart happy. I pray for you too.

Talen: Can you quit talking?

Aunt Molly: Sure.

Anyway, this conversation reminded me of one of my favorite Marianne Williamson quotes...sort of cheesy but so are pajamas covered in cartoon characters.

"Don't just pray once your car has landed in a ditch; pray before you leave the driveway."

2010-11-01T06:10:00.004-05:00

I've always enjoyed participating in Halloween as more of a spectator but this year I just went for it with both feet ready for the party.

Spray tan, side ponytail, green apron, black shorts and an authentic Merlotte's Bar T-shirt...that's all it takes to become Sookie Stackhouse from the television series True Blood. I though, prefer to wear a little bit more eyeliner and some bigger bling in my ears than my favorite Southern waitress.

That's my friend Matt with me posing as a contestant from The Biggest Loser. He's actually from the same town in Mississippi as Charlene Harris, author of The Southern Vampire Mysteries, which was adapted into the television series True Blood.

I think that's a lot cooler than being from the same town in Iowa that Teen Mom Farrah Abraham is from...bless her heart.

2010-10-31T09:31:00.001-05:00

dear dad,

thank you for the almond eyes and pointy nose.

thank you for teaching me how to not be an asshole.

thank you for showing me how to love without the basis of judgement.

thank you for taking it one day at a time. you've shown me how to face my own shit and do the same.

thank you for loving mom.

thank you for being a rad grandpa.

thank you for grounding me and not buying me a Jetta when I turned 16.

thank you for not naming me something dumb.

thank you for always being my friend...even when i was chubby and had braces.

happy birthday.

love, molly

2010-10-27T21:36:00.002-05:00

I love those people who are so at ease with themselves. Who are all TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME! When I meet one of those people I just want to pick apart their brains...to say why yes I'll come over to your house for chicken tacos just please let me ask you lots of questions.

Just let me stand in your kitchen and wear your Snooki-esque Italia trucker hat.

I promise it will be fun.

And it was.

2010-10-20T07:30:00.002-05:00

Omaha is a buzz about this new Red Mango joint. Someone described it like a salad bar but with candy.

Sounds bananas.

Joshy promised we could go there on Wednesday and I'm going to hold him to it. I'm sure he misunderstood me and assumes it's a bar or something. And that's why I like him lots...in a platonic way.

2010-10-19T07:18:00.029-05:00

It has taken me a few years to figure out that I just don't know how to do certain things well...

- apologize
- write a cover letter
- be on time
- not be wrinkled
- remember things
- etc.
- etc.
- etc.
- make small talk
- not be awkward

You know like the really important and the equally small stuff. I think I'm getting better at life and at living in general. I no longer need to go to Starbucks everyday. Most days I make my own coffee at home...with REAL half and half. I don't know why this makes me feel like I've accomplished something but it does.

- ~~go to Starbucks every damn day~~

2010-10-18T19:16:00.001-05:00

I slid down a slide this weekend. It was glorious. My belly was full of grits and collard greens plus a few cocktails.

I laughed. A lot.

I was wearing a tomato red wool blazer. A girl told me I looked like a politician. I didn't care.

It's a pretty color.

My hair was in braids. A girl told me I looked like I was getting ready to milk something. I didn't care.

I laughed.

2010-10-11T19:51:00.001-05:00

This is my sister, Jennifer.
We don't look anything a like...but our voices are the same.

I'm much taller and have a bigger head.
She's much shorter and has bigger boobs.

She has three kids. I have none.

We both love Banana Republic and mashed potatoes.

She's nice.

The end.

2010-10-03T15:55:00.000-05:00

I've been so out of the blogging routine that I've now stooped to such lows as posting cell phone pictures on my blog.

Sorry.

Even sadder is that I had a real camera in my bag and completely forgot about it last night. Regardless I wanted to show all three of you who are reading this my milkmaid braids.

Suck it, Lauren Conrad...or LC or whatever you go by.

2010-10-01T22:52:00.002-05:00

Because this song is new and quickly becoming my favorite.

2010-09-30T18:39:00.007-05:00

"A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance." - Hunter S. Thompson

Maybe I'm crazy but I truly love to work. I may not like getting up early but...once I'm up and going I like it. I've been asking anyone who is willing to answer the question, why do you work?

The majority replied something along the lines of...money, pay my bills or I'd be bored just sitting at home.

I don't want to believe those are the only options because there has to be something more. I mean...selling drugs would be easier if a person just wanted money. Right? I mean...I don't think you have to get up early to do that kind of job.

Maybe I'm wrong.

But the best part about my quest to find answers to my work question is that Lolly Amons from The Real Housewives of D.C. tweeted me back with her reasoning...

@LollyAmonsLolly Amons

@theredportfolio use the creative gifts God gave me to create my best life! Oh, and to afford pretty dresses. ; )

2010-09-29T21:17:00.000-05:00

I've been asking all of those willing to answer the following question..."Why do you work?"

No...seriously. Why do you?

2010-09-28T23:27:00.001-05:00

"Boom" by Anjulie...can't get that song out of my head. So good.

I'm reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. It's lovely.

Receiving an email from a friend in Nashville is quite nice.

Just in case she reads this post...I don't remember life before we became friends. Thank you for making me laugh...a lot.

I'm thinking of painting one wall in The One Room Mansion with chalkboard/magnetic paint. Landlord Lady says I probably won't get my deposit back. We'll see about that Landlord Lady.

Time for bed. Goodnight.

2010-09-27T21:45:00.001-05:00

Lady Gaga is coming to Omaha.

I don't know how I feel about the above shirt anymore after seeing it photographed. Hi Brandi Carlile...you look gorgeous as always.

I really want a Michele watch.

Did you know it costs $947.40 to go to the emergency room for a scratched cornea? It's true. I have the bill to prove it.

I've been sleeping really well lately.

Life goes on.

I love my closet in The One Room Mansion.

2010-09-23T18:33:00.002-05:00

Happy birthday, Joan Jett.* You make me believe in dreams...the epic rockstar kind.

Thank you.

*I'm a day late...oops.

2010-09-22T23:27:00.004-05:00

photo courtesy of Jess

Is it the first day of Autumn or the first day of Fall? I say Fall.

Happy day either way.

2010-09-21T22:13:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday my homegirl, Shannon, and I went to see "Footloose" at the Omaha Community Playhouse. I love musicals, I love dancing and I love the 80s. Cindy Mancini? Anyone? Anyone? What movie? I would have killed for her VW Rabbit in 1988.

The show didn't disappoint and delivered all of the songs I was hoping to hear...."Holding Out For A Hero"..."Let's Hear It For The Boy"..."Almost Paradise." So good. The scene stealer had to be Rusty played Bailey Carlson. She's the kind of girl you want to karaoke with I can tell you that much.

No awful 80s trends was left out. Leggings? Why'd those come back again? Oh...Lindsay Lohan. And no memorable line was flubbed..."My daddy hates me in these red boots."

I'm hoping next season the Playhouse will decide to put on "Flashdance." I'm always looking for a venue to showcase both my welding and dance moves. Call me.

2010-09-18T01:32:00.010-05:00

I love most days...not all days but most. And then there are some days when I just take a moment and think how did I get here?

And then I remember...I should tweet something right now.

2010-09-17T06:59:00.011-05:00

I received my first Kate Spade purse the same week Britney Spears' "I'm A Slave 4 U" video came out. September 24, 2001...both events are ingrained in my brain.

Fast forward a few years and the preppy-chic designer brand is now releasing a new scent called Twirl. Which undoubtedly smells anything like shih tzu butt.

The ads alone will make any gal swoon, sway and...twirl.

2010-09-16T06:24:00.000-05:00

Keri Russell, age 34, Esquire magazine

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I'm certainly not taking credit for those words but I get it. So chic and so cliche!

But as I get older...I'm 120 days from my 30th birthday...the rules of sexy and my opinion on what is and what isn't is at the forefront of my mind.

Recently I assisted an ANONYMOUS friend while she posed for a sexy photo shoot with an amazing Omaha photographer, Christine Elizabeth, of Omaha Boudoir.

I never in a million years thought I would help said friend adjust her G-string underpants while she stood there saying, "Molly! You just saw my areolas!" Yes. Yes, I did.

Anonymous friend will be presenting the photos to her boyfriend as gift. I love that. I love everything about that.

Lucky man.

2010-09-15T20:41:00.015-05:00

You know how there are those movies that just stick with you? For a long, long while.

An Education.

As my homegirl, Patricia, whose from Ireland says, "Brilliant!" She also calls sweatpants, "joggin' bottoms." I love that.

I have the song "Hang with Me" by Robyn on replay in head.

And snippets of Meg Fee's blog swirling in my head. Damn girl, don't hurt 'em. You can write my friend.*

*I don't actually know Meg. So I use the term "friend" loosely...but I feel she's a kindred spirit in a way.

2010-09-14T21:37:00.004-05:00

Currently I'm working on a writing project that I'm super duper slightly nervous about...but nervousness is motivation. At least that's what my dance teacher always used to tell me.

Work is good.
The One Room Mansion is good.
God is good.
Coors Light with those cold blue mountains on the bottle is good.
Learning how to highlight my hair at home is $7.81 good.
Hearing Brandi Carlile sing "Over the Rainbow" live is beyond good.

Have any of you got addicted to Word with Friends yet? My name is TheRedPortfolio if you'd like to play a game with me.

2010-07-10T16:43:00.003-05:00

I love people who are happy, content and willing to ignore my dark roots. Like JP.

JP and blogging make me happy. As well as Polaroids. And wedding cake.

Hang in there for a few more weeks...regular blogging will resume shortly.

2010-06-22T18:55:00.006-05:00

"That self-consciousness that kicks in around kindergarten and holds us hostage until we're finally old enough to wear purple, as the famous poem reads, impacts more than just our fashion choices. It snuffs out dreams."

-Kelly Corrigan

2010-05-28T01:12:00.003-05:00

And yes...I'm very excited for this movie.

fine tuning...

2010-05-25T23:56:00.001-05:00

Fine Tuning, a beautiful new flickr stream, found by Micaela.

ridiculous talent...

2010-05-24T23:03:00.006-05:00

A million years ago (err...10, maybe?) upon first meeting Chris Machian I blurted out, "I want you to take pictures of me like you do of Wendy Townley!" My ego never sleeps.

And this weekend at the Nerdy Thirty book signing he finally snapped my photo.

The kid has talent. Like ridiculous talent.

Side note: I don't fear kidnapping as much as I fear an awful photo of myself being put on TV. So just in case, I approve this photo for use in such situation. You know, just in case...

press play...

2010-05-09T09:42:00.001-05:00

The Nie Nie Dialogues is an amazing blog. I love Nie's honesty and faith both beautifully captured by her writing as well as in the video above.

Please press play. Thank you.

lately...

2010-05-08T21:45:00.002-05:00

Wonderful time this weekend in Kansas City with Kimmie and my sister, Jennifer...and Chelsea Handler too!

miss ohio...

2010-05-06T22:33:00.003-05:00

Must have this T-shirt!

"Look at Miss Ohio" by Gillian Welch is one of my favorite songs. Love the line, "Gonna drive to Atlanta and live out this fantasy..."

smile lines...

2010-05-04T23:57:00.004-05:00

"Thoughts of you

could give me

smile lines.. ."

-Love Songs

Brandi Carlile

li lo...

2010-04-21T16:03:00.002-05:00

I've suddenly developed an insane Lindsay Lohan obsession. I know...so weird.

amelia...

2010-04-20T20:01:00.000-05:00

How chic was Amelia Earhart? I want that jacket.

uncle evan...

2010-04-15T23:30:00.005-05:00

I just found pictures of my Uncle Evan that were featured in LIFE magazine...that's him on the left.

I wonder what he is saying. I wonder if that's a picture of my Aunt Betty on the desk. I can't tell.

He ran for Governor of the state of Iowa in 1964.

Wow...this looks like an intense meeting. The guy on the right looks bored. Dude...you're about to be in LIFE magazine. Smile.

champagne...

2010-04-14T21:32:00.003-05:00

neon lycra...

2010-03-29T20:46:00.004-05:00

Age brings many beautiful things including coming to terms that I will never understand nor be able to wear American Apparel clothing (nor do I have the desire to showcase my vagina via neon Lycra). And even with this knowledge, tomorrow I will ask my doctor for botox for the 1,000,001 time.

peachy...

2010-03-22T22:15:00.003-05:00

I love Atlanta.

I need this necklace.

unfair...

2010-03-21T23:16:00.001-05:00

I need this photo.

In a frame.

So sweet.

my pick...

2010-03-07T21:09:00.006-06:00

Cameron Diaz is my pick for best dressed at this year's Academy Awards. So classy in Oscar de la Renta. She looks amazing.

Who did you love?

oh happy day...

2010-02-26T21:39:00.005-06:00

Loving these prints from Etsy seller, theloveshop.

side of no milk...

2010-02-25T21:12:00.004-06:00

I can now officially say I will never miss cookies made with eggs ever again.

Thank you, Uncle Eddie, whoever you are.

what's new pussy cat...

2010-02-25T00:07:00.005-06:00

Here's the long and the short of things...

I went vegan for Lent. Have you read about factory farming in the United States? I did...and I be REAL scared, folks. Oh, and don't come at me with "I only eat free-range." That's some expensive crock o' shit.

If you'd like to read more on this topic I suggest the book Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. And to clarify...I'm only vegan by diet not shoes or make-up. Baby steps.

I started a new job within the same company I work for. Some of my favorite co-workers threw me a semi-going away party. There was karaoke and booze. Jimmy came along too and sang "Bette Davis Eyes" but changed the words to, "All the boys think she's a spy...she's got Molly Gordon eyes." Touching.

Banana Republic makes the best pants ever...try the 323 fit. They lift, suck and tuck...kind of like the Drag Queen of trousers.

I joined a gym. I pray someday I enjoy working out.

Did I mention I haven't had cheese in seven days?

That's what's new pussy cats.

perfection...

2010-02-24T00:20:00.002-06:00

berlin hair baby...

2010-02-22T21:31:00.003-06:00

I recently had the privilege of interviewing Berlin Hair Baby...I love her site and her advice. And yes, she really lives in Berlin, Germany.

First, you sound American to me...except when you bust out a little German...where are you originally from?

I'm American but have spent many years living abroad. I was born in New Delhi, India and I've lived in Egypt, Italy, Tunisia, USA and Germany.

How'd you end up in Berlin?

I was living in Washington, DC and fell in love with a German guy from Hamburg (now my husband). We talked about moving to Europe and then I landed a job in Berlin. Its hard to believe I'm coming up on NINE years in this city. I love it though...its filled with so much history and passion. Part of me feels German now.

What is the biggest difference between American women and German women? Give us the good and the bad.

German women tend to be more direct about how they're feeling. There's less bullshit, less superficiality. That said, American women really know how to fun and just let go! I love Girls Night Out when I'm in the States. Good for the soul.

What do you miss most about the States? A certain food or place?

I miss the desert. I grew up partly in Arizona and have fond memories of the saquaros, scrub-brush and open spaces. AZ sunsets are so pretty, it almost hurts me to watch them after I've been away a particularly long time. I also miss the ethnic mixture in the US. Germany has a sizeble immigrant population (especially Berlin) but its not like the petri dish you'll find in the States.

I feel the same way about Arizona...especially the mountains there.
How'd you learn to do hair and make-up? And do it so well.

Awww, shucks. Thank you. I'm mainly self taught but in my 20s I worked at a super cool make-up & hair place in Washington, DC called "efx" in Georgetown and on Connecticut Avenue. Long before Sephora this place was selling a whole range of great lines. We had really intense, day long training sessions with companies like Molton Brown, Decleor, Phyto, Terax, Nars etc.

Do you always leave the house looking stylish?

My first instinct was to write HELL NO!...but truthfully, I do put some effort in. I'm not sure if the end result is always "stylish" but you'll see me workin' it 9 times out of 10. I'm a fan of outer wear so I'll get a bold, colorful jacket and nice handbag rather then tons of new outfits. Outer wear goes a long way, particularly in crappy weather like Northern Europe.

Your a mom. What advice do you give other mamas on looking stylish?

Focus on what your best feature is and highlight it. Is it your lips? Then get some gorgeous lipsticks in colors you love. How about your eyes? The apply some fake demi lashes on date night and accentuate them! Narrow it down and that way you'll feel less overwhelmed when its time to get ready. Also, never under estimate the power of hot rollers.

What are your top 5 favorite hair products?

Tigi After Party Styling Creme
Phyto joba Hydrating Shampoo
Frédéric Fekkai protein shampoo+conditioner
Kiehls Silk Groom Serum
Terax Ultra Moisturizing Daily Conditioner

What are your top 5 favorite make-up products?

Chanel Pro Lumiere Foundation
Benefit Erase Paste
MAC Strobe Creme
T. leclerc loose powder in Banane
Clarins Beauty Flash Balm

What are your favorite hair and make-up tips?

Hair: Every woman needs a pair of hot rollers in her arsenal. That's how you get the hollywood look, ladies.

Make up: thicken and elongate your eye lashes with a kick ass mascara. If your lashes are thin, then invest in some of the new growth/thickening products on the market. Full lashes will take 10 years off!

What's your favorite tutorial you've done so far?

I haven't done it yet! I'm really picky about lighting and want to improve my video quality so I'm in the market for a new camera. If anyone has any tips, I'm all ears.

Biggest hair mistake you've ever made?

My sister (Hi Chaz!) and I went on a cruise with our parents when I was in 7th grade. This particular vacation was very well documented, including our "Captains Table portrait" which features yours truly in a permed bi-level. It's all poodle. My mom has this photo up in her dining room...sigh.

Biggest hair or make-up mistake you see other women make?

Getting stuck. Women will look at themselves in the mirror in 1998 and go "yeah, that looks good!" and then, they don't change. Ever. You gotta mix it up every few years. What looked good 5 or 10 years ago has to be freshened up. Maybe its different highlights...or bangs...or a bob...just don't fear change.

Which celebrity do you think has the best hair and make-up right now?

Since turning 36 I've been thinking about women who are aging well. Jennifer Aniston, Helena Christensen, Jennifer Beals, Iman, Heidi Klum...I think they all have great skin but don't looked over botoxed or plastic. I love Heidi Klum's laugh lines around her eyes and Jennifer Aniston has a smokin' body. Her recent Mexico bikini vacation pics? Fugeddaboutit! 2010 is the year Berlin Hair Baby gets fit. You read it hear first people.

By the way...have you ever been to the Cologne Cathedral? My grandparents took my sister and I there when we were young. One of the most amazing things I've ever seen.

Yes, I have! And I agree with you, its truly an amazing church. I love spending time in Cologne, the people are so friendly and the beer is tasty.

Thank you so much!

ash wednesday...

2010-02-17T23:58:00.000-06:00

Glad I got my church directory photo all taken care of for the Lenten season.

mistakes...

2010-02-15T19:47:00.002-06:00

'You two should get drunk tonight and make some mistakes,' said @shangilroy. 'Then tomorrow you can give each other awkward looks.'

i adore...

2010-02-14T14:06:00.000-06:00

the goal...

2010-02-13T12:24:00.013-06:00

I have one goal in my life right now...which I've only shared with my rock star personal trainer friend, Jen Yee. Yes that Jen Yee. My awesome, kick ass, super smart, amazing Auntie, beautiful and fabulous Chinese friend, Jen Yee.

So here's my goal:

By May 1, 2010, I want to look like Jackie Warner. Okay, well more like the Jenna Elfman version of Jackie Warner. More like this:

Okay...minus the pregnant belly. I just need some muscles and stuff. More like this:

But without the bag. I don't like the bag. Love the hair though.

due ONLY...

2010-02-11T20:08:00.009-06:00

I just cleaned my entire apartment while wearing black tights and a bra. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, "Huh, I kind of look like a superhero..."

Now seriously...cleaning a 495 square foot one room mansion takes about same amount of time as three George Michael songs.

I will be your preacher teacher
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind

Don't act like you don't know.

And that's not my apartment above. I'm sure you already knew that...due ONLY to the fact that I don't own a TV. See the TV in the picture?

That's all...I'm going to go put pants on now.

stacy merkin...

2010-02-10T20:23:00.001-06:00

If you follow me on Twitter (@theredportfolio)...and I hope that you do, you will know I've renamed my stomach Stacy Merkin.

Last Thursday I thought it would be a great idea to go to Long John Silver's and five hush puppies later I didn't feel so hot. It's okay...doesn't everyone feel like crap after they eat square fish?

NO. NOT. ME.

For the past six days I have been puking, the room hasn't stopped spinning and in general I've felt like crap. Stacy Merkin has taken over my life.

I went to the doctor yesterday and now feel a smidgen better due to some rock star drugs. I do have to go get an ultrasound on Monday...(can't eat after 2am WTF!?).

So that's that...Stacy Merkin is a c-u-n-t.

nerds...

2010-02-04T21:39:00.001-06:00

Thank you for the fancy fun time What Cheer!

night...

2010-02-02T21:07:00.006-06:00

I'm mandating a 10:30pm bed time as of this evening. My brain has been so, so foggy. Like today at the gym, a woman asked me my name and I had to think about it.

I said out loud, "Umm...mmm...."

She now thinks I'm strange. I completely understand.

So without further adieu...NIGHT!

a little hello...

2010-02-01T22:54:00.000-06:00

lime green...

2010-02-01T22:19:00.003-06:00

Thanks for your suggestions!

LOVE

haiti benefit...

2010-01-28T23:59:00.000-06:00

I don't wear T-shirts. Period. I have sausage arms which do not bode well in short sleeves accentuated by crew necks. I also can't wear wrap dresses...so eff off, Diane von Furstenburg.

But when there's volunteering to be done...I make exceptions.

Case in point:

The Haiti Benefit Concert held at The Slowdown tonight was my first event as a Public Relations volunteer for the Omaha Red Cross.

CHEESE! No but seriously...I am so thankful to be a part of such an amazing organization. An organization that does so much and still has time to produce cute T-shirts.

Many thanks to the rockstar concert goers for being so generous, nice and fashionable.

P.S. You can text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross relief for Haiti.

and then...

2010-01-27T23:36:00.004-06:00

And then...I died a little. Because I love Brandi Carlile that much.

Seriously...what kind of shampoo does this girl use? I wonder what kind of organic air she eats? Homegirl is skinny...and flawless...and sweet.

plastic surgeries/human insecurities...

2010-01-26T19:08:00.004-06:00

Still trying to shake the insanely disturbing message covered in the documentary, America The Beautiful. Filmmaker Daryl Roberts asks the question, "Are we obsessed with beauty?"

Well of course YES...but his main point, turn to that little girl in your life and tell her she is "so smart" instead of "so pretty" a little more often.